To Myself

Words and Model: Victoria Petersen @vipetersen / Photography: Daiana Aquije @daiaquije  / Makeup: Celeste Ozores @celesteozores / Hair: Gabo Escobar @gabooescobar

We sat together on an airplane an year ago. I remember how scared I was. And though my eyes were watering, they were tears of joy. You sat next to me while I was cleaning my tears away from my sore eyes.You radiated happiness. You probably realised I was crying so you smiled at me. It was a sweet smile. You seemed so confident yet so sweet. You seemed to be everything I longed to be. There was something about you... it felt as If i had known you all along yet I didn’t, but I wanted to. So I decided to stick around with you. And so the airplane took off and so our adventure began. I felt safe with you.

We were two naive girls, eager to discover the world, not sure how, we only had ourselves and our will. But that seemed enough. Soon we learned  our paths would be the same. I started learning from you. I used to think the world one way until you. You taught me the world can be a happy place everyday.

But above all you taught me that loneliness can be a great companion, because being lonely means being with yourself. And that’s how we met. With you, I learned to be the person that I’d always been, but that was hidden behind stereotypes and fears.

I often think of you like spring, like a force I felt, but I couldn’t touch you or see you. And like flowers, you made me blossom. You were warm and kind, you gave me light and you made me arise from a deep sleep and from a cold winter that used to be my life. First it was slow and then it hit me all of a sudden. You gave me colours, and many petals, such as poetry, and books, and words, and feelings. Along the way, as I opened myself, ourselves to the world, like flowers, some bees came to visit; like people who come and go in life, with some of them we liked each other, I guess they liked my perfume and I liked their company. And some other flew away. You showed me I can have many colours, but you also made me understand that evolving takes time, just like a caterpillar evolves into a butterfly...

And so we went from sitting on that airplane, to walking and from walking to running. Next to you, I felt like a wild horse. Suddenly my chains were broken and I felt free.I was free to choose and to feel. I learned to let go and feel deeper than ever before. To sense in my skin every word, every moment and every touch...now I get goosebumps more often. But it’s fine. I like it.

I thought you were fearless but I realised you were just as afraid as me. You just didn’t let fear stop you. From you I learned to be brave. This past year, you’ve made my every day an adventure.

We’ve grown and learned from each other. And somehow we became one another. And as the season changes, and the spring begins again, I wonder what I’ll become next. For our precious time has come to an end, it’s time to make room for a new self. But do not fear, you will forever stay in my heart, for we shall be one. In my reflection I’ll see you, in the laughs I’ll shall laugh with you, and in the memories I’ll hug you. For you taught me to always hug myself.